Ikea

In late July of 2002 I was returning home after being stationed in Japan for a year. The woman I was sitting next to on the plane must have recognized my bags or something and began to start up a conversation about the military. After a few minutes mindless chit chat she started to talk about Ikea. She said "Don't ya think that Ikea is crazy?!" I said "I don't think its that bad, I haven't bought anything from them, but in the catalogs their stuff looks pretty good" The conversation went on for a few more minutes and it was completely confusing. About an hour later I realized she was talking about al qaeda but she was just saying it wrong.

Eyesight

I see UFOs alot. Pretty much everynight I see some unexplainable thing in the sky. Thing is, I'm supposed to wear glasses. I havent worn them in about 4 years and I fear that if I start wearing them again I wont see UFOs anymore. The sky will probably just look normal, and that bores me.

Day Dreaming

When I was in kindergarten, there was this really cute girl that sat across from me. I had a vivid day dream once where I showed up to class dressed in a kung-fu outfit and I kung-fu'd the hell out of everything in the room. When I was done destroying the place, I put out my hand and pulled her out of the rubble. She called me her hero and kissed me. Sometimes now when I meet a really attractive woman, the same day dream pops back into my head.

Telekinesis

I know that I can't, but I catch myself trying to move things with my mind on a daily basis. For a split second I actually think to myself "Its gonna work this time." I'm scared that if I do one day move something with my mind, I won't know if it was me or if it was a ghost. Then I'll be forced to use my neighbors bathroom from then on.

More Ghosts

Sometimes I wonder if my house is haunted and I get creeped out. I don't get creeped out because of the ghosts, I get creeped out because the ghosts are probably watching me poop ....as I type this post.

Ghosts

Do ghosts poop?

Love

Group hugs are weird. They're like really soft core orgies.

Dreams

I had a dream last night that King Kong was causing a ruckus in my town, but instead of a gorilla, King Kong was a pineapple, also there was a car made out of donuts. That's all I remember.

Fear

When I was a little kid, I wasn’t scared of the boogie man or monsters under my bed. I was afraid of one thing and one thing only. Corn. Indian corn to be exact. I called it “Corn-Dead”