Monkey in my roommate's car

Last night around 10:15 p.m., I left my house to pick up my roommate from work. I got in the White Hornet (the car), started the four cylinders of fury, put on my specs ...I turned the headlights on as well, but I can't remember where it fits into the order of things... then proceeded to back out of the driveway. When I stopped at the end of the street, a creature of some sort jumped from the back seat, on to the passenger side head rest, then jumped straight out of the passenger side window. I didn't see it scurry off anywhere, it just kinda vanished. At first I thought the only logical explanation was that it was El Chupacabra, but when I arrived at my roommate's place of employment, I noticed a McDonald's bag that I left in there a few hours before was tore up with teeth or claw marks all over it. It was a monkey, I'm sure of it. Also, I moved to Ft. Myers, FL. to a house that is haunted by an old guy named Dan.

Ikea

In late July of 2002 I was returning home after being stationed in Japan for a year. The woman I was sitting next to on the plane must have recognized my bags or something and began to start up a conversation about the military. After a few minutes mindless chit chat she started to talk about Ikea. She said "Don't ya think that Ikea is crazy?!" I said "I don't think its that bad, I haven't bought anything from them, but in the catalogs their stuff looks pretty good" The conversation went on for a few more minutes and it was completely confusing. About an hour later I realized she was talking about al qaeda but she was just saying it wrong.

Eyesight

I see UFOs alot. Pretty much everynight I see some unexplainable thing in the sky. Thing is, I'm supposed to wear glasses. I havent worn them in about 4 years and I fear that if I start wearing them again I wont see UFOs anymore. The sky will probably just look normal, and that bores me.

Day Dreaming

When I was in kindergarten, there was this really cute girl that sat across from me. I had a vivid day dream once where I showed up to class dressed in a kung-fu outfit and I kung-fu'd the hell out of everything in the room. When I was done destroying the place, I put out my hand and pulled her out of the rubble. She called me her hero and kissed me. Sometimes now when I meet a really attractive woman, the same day dream pops back into my head.

Telekinesis

I know that I can't, but I catch myself trying to move things with my mind on a daily basis. For a split second I actually think to myself "Its gonna work this time." I'm scared that if I do one day move something with my mind, I won't know if it was me or if it was a ghost. Then I'll be forced to use my neighbors bathroom from then on.

More Ghosts

Sometimes I wonder if my house is haunted and I get creeped out. I don't get creeped out because of the ghosts, I get creeped out because the ghosts are probably watching me poop ....as I type this post.

Ghosts

Do ghosts poop?